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Postcards From The Void

Anas Islam, Grade 12, Staff Writer

 

As the cacophony of howling resounded, a great void has spawned and has threatened to destroy the foundations of HSAS. Common Sense has resolved to find the origins and scale of threat it is inflicting on the school community.


In order to find the roots of this catastrophic event, Common Sense has interviewed people who witnessed the event during this time. Fringewalker Babbler (‘24) commented, “I felt a huge shake when it was occurring. It felt like a magnitude of 100 earthquakes. It was so massive that I fell on top of my head. Then I saw a massive hole open up in front of the lobby.”


However, there is confirmation that there were survivors who escaped the horrors of the depths within the void. A teacher by the name of Illies Spinkgle Bob the Gazillionth said, “I got sucked into an alternate HSAS. In this reality, the teachers were gender-swapped. I would have lost my sanity if I couldn't escape from that horrid place.”


Another individual who lived to tell the tale was a student by the name of Gaspard Golbor (‘25). He exclaimed, “This was a damn adventure for sure. I was scared, but it was fun. Anything to be able to bail out of Art Class. I get no homework now. I will go through the worst of pains rather than taking that accursed course.”


Dawn Ixatoke was an individual who was able to witness the aftermath of this event. She cried out “It was so scary. I was not expecting it at all. I think my blood pressure had to have hit 250. I thought I would have died there on the spot. Alas, it left a giant hole in the school, and is getting bigger very slowly.


The revelation that the hole is threatening to engulf the entire school is worrisome to some. Adolin Atamli, who was not present during this event, gave his own thoughts about the current state of affairs regarding the void’s impact on the school. He stated, “It’s very concerning. However, as long as I have shorter period schedules, I do not mind. It may be a blessing in disguise.”


Despite the looming ravage within the HSAS School Circle, it seems that there are some people pleased with shorter school schedules, as it yields less work for students.


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